"What the hell!"
"Stop emailing us!"
"Jimmy Carter is out there thinking..."
"Sleepy Joe is still awake!"
"Room just froze faster than Mitch McConnell."
"Can we just acknowledge..."
"...my definition of patriotism and heroism."
"If you're watching C-SPAN on a Saturday night..."
"I got one 'woo.'"
"You remember."
"We're all here tonight at nerd prom."
The final White House Correspondents' Dinner
"I'm also used to being second gentleman."
"Too chilling for you guys?"
"I'll be delivering the Republican response."
"Manage your expectations, people."
"I thought I saw Matt Gaetz here tonight..."
"Wordle is here tonight."
Courtroom sketch artist
Criminal masterminds who bike to get ice cream
"You think you're better than me?"
"Biden laughed."
"Who [...] says I'm not a real job creator?"
"Thank you, thank you, thank you!"
"Your words speak truth to power."