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Captain, My Captain

The final White House Correspondents' Dinner

"Sleepy Joe is still awake!"

"If you're watching C-SPAN on a Saturday night..."

"You think you're better than me?"

"Your words speak truth to power."

"And the race is tied?"

"That was hard-hitting journalism you saw."

"Biden laughed."

"Room just froze faster than Mitch McConnell."

"Stop emailing us!"

"I thought I saw Matt Gaetz here tonight..."

"Decency is why we're all here tonight."

"I'll be delivering the Republican response."

I Like You Too

"Can we just acknowledge..."

Good Band

"Wordle is here tonight."

Criminal masterminds who bike to get ice cream

"Manage your expectations, people."

"You remember."

"I got one 'woo.'"

"We're all here tonight at nerd prom."

"I'm also used to being second gentleman."

"Nothing makes sense anymore."