"Wordle is here tonight."

"Let's Start Giving Out Some Trophies!"

"Stop emailing us!"

"Can we just acknowledge..."

The final White House Correspondents' Dinner

"Sleepy Joe is still awake!"

"Jimmy Carter is out there thinking..."

"I'll be delivering the Republican response."

"You think you're better than me?"

"Biden laughed."

"Decency is why we're all here tonight."

"Room just froze faster than Mitch McConnell."

Courtroom sketch artist

Criminal masterminds who bike to get ice cream

"If you're watching C-SPAN on a Saturday night..."

"I got one 'woo.'"

"You remember."

"We're all here tonight at nerd prom."

"I'm also used to being second gentleman."

"Too chilling for you guys?"

"I thought I saw Matt Gaetz here tonight..."

"That was hard-hitting journalism you saw."

"Manage your expectations, people."

"Your words speak truth to power."

"And the race is tied?"